To the Right of Elvis

Elvis was never one of my favorite singers.  Nor was Janis Joplin, Johnny Cash or B.B. King for that matter.  I liked the way Jimi Hendrix spelled his name, but his music?  Not so much.  Rock music hurt my ears and blues was my mama's style.  I was most comfortable with R&B or blue-eyed soul.  Classical music reminded me of my friend Beth's house.  Her parents listed to NPR and watched public television.  I liked that world.

The past few weeks have become a uncomfortable mess.  I find myself in a quagmire of stagnation.  My body continues to change, but the weight remains constant.  The exercise prevents huge gains, however, I seem to have lost the will lose more.  Finally, I realize why a greater weight loss frightens me.  The attention this new body attracts is glorious fun through my computer, but quite another story in person.  Two men I didn't know previously, approached me recently.  The men are polar opposites in absolutely every way.  In fact, the only thing they have in common was their apparent interest in me.

As Elvis was on the wrong side of my early musical taste, male attention (in my fat mind) is uncomfortable.  The more my body changes and morphs into Skinny Me, the more attention I receive and the self-sabotage begins anew.  Perhaps, the only way to get past this plateau is to make more changes.

Once, at a restaurant, I was directed to the ladies' room by being told that the door was just to the right of Elvis.  I followed the direction and found a most comfortable room.  As my musical tastes matured and developed, I learned that R&B is NOT the only good music.  I love many different genres, each serving a particular mood.  Now, I just need to know that Skinny Me's not scary.  In fact, she's the cool chick that can be found just to the right of Elvis.

and away we go...

A View From Love

My friend, Carter, shared his feeling about love with one of his friends and graciously allowed me to share his thoughts with you.  

By CHC:
"I thought I should share some economics of love.  I hope you will share or take from this whatever you need. It has been said that falling in love is wonderful, and that the best is falling in love with what YOU have.

In general, and with rare exceptions, the returns in loving situations are roughly proportional, to the amount of time and devotion invested.  The amount of love you get from an investment in love is correlated, if only roughly, to the amount of yourself you invest in the relationship.

If you invest caring, patience and unselfishness, you get those things back.  (This assumes, of course, you are in a relationship with someone who loves you and not a one-sided love affair with someone who isn't interested.)

High quality bonds consistently yield more return than junk, and so it is with high quality love.  As for the returns on bonds, I knows that my comment will come as a surprise to people who have been brainwashed into thinking junk bonds are free money.  They are not.  The data shows that junk debt outperforms high quality in rare situations, because of the default risk.

In love, the date is much clearer.  Stay with high-quality human beings.  And once you find yourself in a junk relationship, sell immediately.  Junk situations can look appealing and seductive, but junk is junk.  Be wary of it unless you control the market.  (The absolutely sure way to ruin your life is to have a relationship with someone with many serious problems, and to think that you can change this person.)

Research pays off.  The most appealing and seductive (that word again) exterior can hide the most danger and chance of loss.  For most of us, diversification in love, at least beyond a very small number, is impossible, so it's necessary to do a lot of research on the choice you make. It is a rare man or woman who can resist the outward and the surface, but exteriors can hide far too much.

In every long-term romantic situation, returns are greater when there is a monopoly.  If you have to share your love with others, if you have to compete even after a brief while with others, forget the whole thing. You want to have monopoly bonds with your long-term lover. Most situations, at least, work out better this way.

Long-term investment pays off. The impatient day player will fare poorly without inside information or market-controlling power.  He or she will have a few good days, but years of agony in the world of love.

To coin a phrase:  Fall in love in haste, repent at leisure.
Realistic expectations are everything.  If you have unrealistic expectations, they will rarely be met.  If you think that you can go from nowhere to having someone wonderful in love with you, you are most likely wrong.

You need expectations that match reality before you can make some progress.  There may be exceptions, but they are rare.  When you have a winner, stick with your winner.  Whether in love or in the stock market, winners are to be prized."


live well and love...