Relapse and Recovery

Last week was special in so many ways; I'll highlight one.  I had dinner Thursday night with high school friends I haven't seen in as many as 30 years.  Marla Robertson came to town on her way to Norman for a wedding and wanted to know if I'd like to have dinner with her.  In the end, Terry Cummings, Brenda Wilson, Ron and Annette and I met at Hattie's.  I felt confident about the evening because I prepared my menu, with Jack's help, earlier.  What a fabulous time we had!!!  Reminiscing about old times and catching up with our lives made the evening fly by!

However, all my planning went out the window when I saw the menu!  Rather than order the chicken with the sauce on the side, I ordered shrimp and grits.  Had that been my only diversion, perhaps I would not have suffered a 3 pound gain and endless lectures from my coach.  Oh no, I also had 3 martinis!  I probably ate, in one meal, what I could have lived on for 2 days.  I made a conscience choice to eat what I did.  Boy, it was good.  Now my dilemma was how to handle the results of my relapse.

Previously, I am sure I would have continued to eat poorly for at least a week.  Although I did have a Sausage McMuffin for breakfast the next day, I ate a good lunch and dinner.  I did not increase my walking Friday night, but this weekend, I walked like a fool!  Saturday and Sunday's menus were light and delicious.  My goal, to eat what I like within reason, is coming to fruition.

I learned that recovery from relapse is not impossible.  Recovery takes commitment and effort.  I learned that the taste of new foods or those which are not best for me is not always worth the cost of recovery.  My walk on Saturday morning started slowly and stiffly.  Four miles later, my body loosened and keeping to my walking program is easier.  As of this morning, I lost 1 of the 3 pounds I gained.  The best lesson is that I understand what recovery takes.  I am not always willing to fight this long to recover from a couple of hours of food bliss.

Lesson learned.

Just the Facts, Lady. Just the facts.

I decided I need to write down my starting points.  I am sure that in 2 months, I will forget when I started and just how poor my eating habits were.  I measured last night and left them at home, so I will have to estimate those.

Start Date:  4/10/2010
Starting Weight:  4/10/2010 - 220 lbs.  :-(          
                          4/21/2010 - 212.5  :-)     Down 7.5 lbs!!!
Starting BMI (Body Mass Index:  36.6 (@ 220)     
                                 4/21/2010 - 35.3        Fabulous!
Bust:  48"
Waist:  46:
Hips:  48"
Right Thigh:  26"                  Left Thigh:  25"
Right Upper Arm:  18"         Left Upper Arm:  18"

Prior to my journey's beginning, I hardly drank water at all.  Now, I consume at least 110 ounces daily.  I love the way my skin looks and my hair is softer!!!

And away we go!!!!

Results I Can See

If we observe, we can see so much!  The journey of becoming slimmer has taken a life of my own.  I remember many years ago, I worked out like a fiend!  My gym saw me 7 days each week.  I ate what I wanted and based my portion sizes upon the amount of time I danced, or biked, or walked.  I weighed myself daily prior to my work out and after.  This time, a few years older and definitely wiser, my approach focuses on nutrition.  I closely monitor my sodium intake and while it is still above the recommend intake, it has improved.  I try to eat more vegetables and fruits and fewer (or at least not as much) fatty, calorie-dense foods.  I walk for a purpose now!  I swing my arms like I'm whipping up a smile.  My legs, my hips, my thighs feel strong and ready to climb large dirt mounds.  I love the the way my lungs feel as they fill with air.  My heart pumps strongly and is close to being ready for a jog.

The 6.5 pounds that left my body took with it the dullness on my skin and left it with a healthier glow.  My face seems slimmer.  My jeans are looser and my thighs don't shimmy as much as before.  Unfortunately, my wings are not much firmer as evidenced by their sweep into the guacamole as I reached for a tortilla a few days ago at lunch.  I noticed that I measure success a little differently, too.  Work is a beast, but now I can see myself more successful because I am beginning to win this battle.  Who knew 6 little pounds could lift so much from my shoulders?  And onward we fight.

Continuing the Journey

My weight loss progress is now, in fact, a journey.  My food diary proved to be surprising, invorating, and even a little fun.  I found a website, caloriecount.com, that allows me to track my food intake, my exercise, and my weight loss progress.  This posting started two days ago.  Thursday's weight 215.5,  was a 4.5 pound loss from my start.  This morning, I am down to 214!

I cannot believe I made this accomplishment eating scandalous food.  But, I substantially increased my water intake and my exercise.  I walked 10 miles last week and by week's end, even jogged a bit.  My inspiration and my guide got my food log yesterday.  It will be interesting to hear his reaction.  And believe me, there will be a reaction.

This morning, I tried a new recipe called Oatmeal with an Egg Boost.  It sounded rather horrible in a way, but I figured the vanilla yogurt topping couldn't be all bad.  The dish was actually very tasty; a creamy concoction loaded with fiber, protein and a little sweet.  I have to remember to take snacks!  I almost blew my day by having a combo from Long John Silvers.  A 2 mile walk this evening paired with a low sodium, high-protein dinner should undo some of the damage.

I can already see some changes.  My skin looks brighter, I feel stronger, my lungs feel more elastic and breathing is less labored.  On the other hand, my body feels more sore today than last week.  Obvious changes are yet to come; I look forward to their debut.

As I go to the grocery store later this evening, I will look for foods that are good for me and good to me.  I am beginning to love this journey.

A New Quest

A good friend changed his eating and exercise routine, developed a new lifestyle and is now healthier than he has been in years.  Jack feels good and looks great.  Last week, he encouraged me to change my eating and exercise habits to lose weight.  Now, Jack is disgusted by fried foods, desert, and lovely sauces.  Fat people also disgust my friend Jack.

Last week, Jack and I had lunch with Harriet.  They spoke about me when I left the table.  It seems they believe Jack's progress has had no impact on my weight outlook.  What my friends didn't realize is that at the first of the year, another friend, Carol, and I made our 2010 goals.  One of my goals is to be a size 14 by June, 2010.  Since my conversation with Carol, I increased my walking and managed to slowly decrease my food intake.  About 3 weeks ago, I developed ferocious cravings for sweets and calorie dense foods. I felt angry that these two friends, whom I see rather frequently, never noticed my pre-crash changes.  They assumed that I always eat poorly and I never exercise. They feel I am making excuses for not adopting a healthier lifestyle.  I simply did not broadcast my journey because I didn't want the pressure I knew I would impose upon myself to "be good".

So, at week's end, Jack suggested I write down what I eat for a week; every morsel that goes into my mouth.  After analyzing my childish anger and deciding I am in control of my journey, I took him up on it.  After keeping a one-week food diary,  I will determine what changes need to be made and how to implement them.  Already the task of keeping the diary, less than two days now, has been empowering.  This has a chance of working on my terms!

I weighed in on Thursday April 8th at 220 pounds.  Today, I weigh 219 (after a Big Mac and 1/2 order of fries).  So far, I walked 2.1 miles, drank 116.915 ounces of water, and averaged 3 meals daily.  I will end the day with at least 100 ounces of water consumed.  Not bad for someone who's not really trying!